Dear internet advertising people,
Offering me $10 to advertise on my blog is not a very tempting proposition. You see, I’ve already earned more in the time it took me to read your email than what you are offering, and while tripling that amount sure sounds catchy, tripling next-to-nothing is just triple nothing. And no, I won’t email you back to discuss rates, because my guess is suggesting you move the decimal place two spots to the right and making this a monthly payment is just slightly, slightly out of your budget.
And don’t look at me like I’m being unreasonable here, I can’t even buy a goddamn mount for what you are offering!