SW:TOR is the most entertaining MMO of 2012

Oh the game sucks. We all know that. But this is without a doubt the most entertaining and hilarious thing I have read all week. (hat-tip Massively)

“You can tell when things are going really well in the game,” Zeschuk explains. “The amount of forum chatter drops. People don’t go to forums. They just play.”

Less forum posts = more subs huh?

Next Greg is going to tell me this is a clear sign of positive growth and retention. Wait he did:

“The playing of the game is off the charts.”

Not off the chart yet, but not exactly far, far away either.

Oh, but don’t worry, they also have metrics to give us such amazing stats like:

“You learn things like Sunday is the biggest play time of the week.”

Holy shit no way!? Damnit I better schedule guild events on Sundays. If only I had known this back in 1998! Thank you SW:TOR metrics, thank you!

Ah but the amazing train is just getting started. Did you know:

“our average peak play time is mid-afternoon, because East Coast is getting off work, Europe is off work and in their peak, and as Europe goes down, North America goes up.”

Is he kidding me with this stuff? Peak time is when people are at home and able to play? What?! How is that even possible? How is mid-day while everyone is at work not peak time? Are you telling me people are not playing when they are asleep at night? No wonder people don’t show up for my 1pm Wed events. Now I know! And with this new-found knowledge, I’m off to dominate EVE. Haha, damn fools won’t know what hit them when I strike at off-peak hours. I’ll be regarded as a modern-day Sun Tzu. Fear me!

“The amount of respect we have for people like Blizzard who run these games effectively has gone up even more.”

Has WoW forum chatter also dropped? Has anyone informed Greg that WoW has been stagnant/declining for a while now? He might want to stop chasing the dying MMO before he finds himself $300m+ deep into it. Oh wait…

Crack is whack kids, crack is whack.

But BioWare, please, don’t stop giving interviews.

28 Responses to SW:TOR is the most entertaining MMO of 2012

  1. Doone says:

    Not that I think SWTOR is doing awful/terrible/bad or anything. I honestly don’t keep up with it. But this kind of interview is designed to give “good press” and attract users by talking enthusiastically about it. I know, news at 11.

    It does show that Bioware is like the new kid in school at this. I don’t doubt they found their analytics amazing and eye opening. Still, it doesn’t bode well that these stats weren’t the kind of trend they predicted (people play after work, evenings, weekends, etc) instead of surprising.

    I do hope they’re able to keep up. RIFT showed us all last year (and continues to show us) that they’ll keep dropping updates and patches at a fresh speed. That’s what SWTOR is competing with currently, not WoW. The Secret World and Guild Wars will test their forum monitoring skills.

  2. Aidan P. says:

    I really enjoy your SWTOR posts, they have really started to drip with an ironic tone thatbis quite amusing.

  3. Bored says:

    Ok you win, the game was fun for a month or 2 but not so much now and a lot of people have been leaving for sure.

  4. Ulvheart says:

    We’ve seen a big drop-off in our guild over the last month or so, much of that is because the end-game really is quite poor at the moment and people are questing through the Republic faction side of things.

    We’re enjoying the Operations though having worked through the normal modes and onto the hard modes (i.e. normal plus harsh enrage timers) but it’s not gripped most like WoW did back in the day,

    This isn’t because TOR is a bad game in and of itself (it’s actually very good at what it does) but because we’ve been there, done that.

    I’d try our Eve (again) but I like my PvP consensual. I played WoT, it’s the same old grind. Maybe GW2 will trip the light fantastic…

  5. You don’t even play it ! But still the start of your article is:
    “Oh the game sucks. We all know that.”

    What the hell, man

    You’re actually making me feel guilty for enjoying a game… thanks a lot !

  6. Dr. Horrible says:

    Wow! Sarcasm! That’s original!

    • Rammstein says:

      Originality is best expressed by commenting on someone else’s blog post about the 5645th game based on a movie whose IP has been exploited commercially more than any other in all of human history, using a comment lifted verbatim from someone else’s work; said comment already referring to the unoriginality of calling someone else unoriginal, rendering the use in this context as quadruply self-recursively unoriginal.

      Sarcastic enough for you?

      • Sullas says:

        That wasn’t overwrought or self-defeating at all. An excellent putdown, light and nimble of wit, bringing to mind Muhammad Ali at his most butterfly-floaty.

      • Rammstein says:

        Insults and putdowns are your thing? I’m sure you can find someone else who likes insults too that you can play with, somewhere on the Internet. I’m not interested, however.

      • I’ve seen it a thousand times but what does IP actually stand for?

      • Rammstein says:

        Intellectual Property: trademarks, copyrights, patents and the like. A handy shorthand, in that something like Microsoft Windows encompasses thousands of each of the above which for many purposes can be regarded as an aggregate entity.

  7. Professer says:

    Bioware makes me laugh :D

  8. NoAstronomer says:

    I’m a software developer for the company I work at. Most of the systems we support are for internal staff only. They only have to be available during work hours. We typically do maintainance on weekends. Which is in fact what I’m doing now.

    But we also have a public facing Internet application. Curiously enough Sunday is also our highest traffic day. Every time we have maintainance scheduled I have to explain (again) to everyone why we should do it at the lowest traffic time (Tuesay AM).

  9. Anti-Stupidity League says:

    Pretty much fail analysis on your part, tsk tsk. If you would like to read that properly (of course you don’t, as the article was not a massive Excel chart so it didn’t feel like “playing” Eve) you’d figure out at least a couple of things from there, unless you’re too busy being a space ship. Pew pew.

    I won’t point them out as I know you’re smart enough to figure those out yourself as well if you just want to, but I’ll say this – pay attention to what they say about the amount of max level characters compared to their sub numbers, the average time a player spends in the game and which mmo-activity seems to be the most common one and then compare these facts to, say, your blog title and draw your conclusions.

    • Sand says:

      ooh, ASL with the sweet iceburn out of left field!

      in all seriousness though, thank you for your shitty opinion, now GTFO my internets and take your fail insults with you.

      dismissed.

      • Anti-Stupidity League says:

        In all seriousness, I see that you failed to find anything to criticize in my original post.

        Thank you for losing the argument, I’m happy to win again, have a nice day.

        • SynCaine says:

          Since you are being serious, nothing in your original post was worth criticizing. You made vague references to insubstantial data. Feel free to make a solid point, and people can give you a solid reply.

        • Sand says:

          Criticism of original post:

          Belittle opponent, insult opponent, (insult opponent some more), insult opponent, mock opponent.

          Strawman argument leading with attempted subtle insult to close.

          all smack, no substance

  10. Rammstein says:

    Syn plays EVE for a few weeks, and the “constantly saying every game should be more like EVE even though you never play it” commenters get replaced with the “you couldn’t possibly understand anything without spreadsheets because you’re one of those people who can only play EVE and not any other game” commenters.

    Not sure if srs.

    • Coeur-de-fer says:

      Oh, there’s always a convenient excuse. You can’t criticize a game you don’t play. Nor can you criticize one you do play, since “you haven’t been playing long enough/you’re just a tourist,” with “long enough” serving as an ad hoc designation for “before you started.” If you were in the closed beta, you should have been in the alpha. If you WERE in that, you didn’t play long enough, and/or weren’t a personal friend of the developers’ families for decades before like you should have been. If ever you should let your account lapse for 30 minutes, your opinion is null and void.

      And, of course, if you meet the above criteria, and dare speak an ill word, “y u play if u dont like.” If you do quit – at any point before the company officially shuts down the servers – see “tourist” above. Even then, you should have moved to a free third-party shard and continued playing.

      If you’re posting, you’re not playing, and thus spend too much time on the blog to have a rational conception of the game. Substitute “working,” “sleeping,” “eating,” “fucking,” or any other non-game activity for “posting” as necessary. Careful, though, that you don’t play “too much,” or you’re a no-lifer, and thus saddled with a twisted, dismissible perspective.

      This is just the tip of the iceberg. The torrent of non sequiturs, straw men, equivocation, and every other flavor of unreason, is endless.

      • Coeur-de-fer says:

        Damned angle brackets. That should be:

        “If you WERE in that, you didn’t play (insert previous game) long enough”

    • SynCaine says:

      Oh pretty sure its real srs.

      Despite the fact that my pilot was ‘born’ in 07.

  11. In reference to the commenters, alone — it’s like the trolls all found a place to mate. There seems to be a serious population problem here.

  12. bonedead says:

    Yeah yeah. I still play it! We can still field 8+ for an op, so, HAH! Take that you old grouchy bastard!

    My dad is always sending me links to news stories regarding game companies. He finds them via stock websites. They are the most infuriating things I’ve ever read. It reminds me of having to BS a paper in school. Yes pumpkins are orange, they have seeds, and are used for many different purposes!

  13. Hudson says:

    Swtor… The biggest fail MMO since Warhammer Online…

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