Swimming in tears

First, I must say the blogosphere is living up to Friday Blog wars (lazy linking since I don’t want to update this as more pop up). It took a bit of time, but finally people have caught on and are following the rules. For that, you should be congratulated. Your posts provide great entertainment to close out a very eventful week.

Next let’s talk about evil, since I’m the expert on it after all. Not SynCaine grant you, but the person behind the name. I have no doubt that those who know be best on the internet, Inquisition, will all attest to how evil I truly am. Furthermore, those I played with back in WoW will also surely confirm just how low I’ll go (ok Gavel might, but he sucked anyway). Finally some random former MMO blogger, who sadly no one cares about anymore due to his boring posts about PnP, who has time and time again proven he will turtle at the first sign of a conflict, who might have the thinnest skin on the internet, and who on more than one occasion has thrown in the blogging towel, thinks I’m evil.

It’s that last bit the really hurts.

Because again, consider the source. This is someone who declared CCP will shut down in 2012. Who ‘tried’ EVE for all of about a week and demonstrated only how little he is able to comprehend when it comes to that subject. Someone who post after post after post has been telling us how FFA PvP can never work. How the wolves will eat all the sheep, and how that’s just simply not sustainable. Who swears gold ammo is not P2Win. Who for years professed the virtues of ‘accessibility’, yet then the true value of accessibility showed itself, declared WoW ‘too accessible’, about 3-4 years after others made the exact same prediction.

I’ll stop, because if I continue, Tobold might quit blogging, again, or start (continue?) filtering comments, or worst of all, once again declare that he does not read this blog, and then who would we (not) read for our PnP fix?

Plus, picking on someone who is already so close to the edge would just be wrong. The last thing anyone wants is for Tobold to off himself, right? Why take the chance with someone who has clearly shown to be less than stable.

Let’s move on to someone who is begging to be called evil, or even acknowledge to exist: Gevlon. I find Gevlon extremely entertaining. It’s like getting to watch someone walk into a wall day after day, only to come back a month later and figure out that they are indeed attempting to pass through a solid object. (contract hauling anyone?) It’s cute in a sadistic way, but acceptable because the individual walking into that wall continues to tell you how smart they are and that it’s you who is wrong.

Whatever disorder Gevlon has, I wish more bloggers had it. At least Gevlon has moved on from the kiddy pool of WoW AH ‘tactics’ and into EVE for all of us to enjoy.

His expert breakdown of the Goons, for instance, is riveting. Granted, it rivals a Tobold post about EVE in accuracy, but it’s far more entertaining because I truly believe Gevlon is not trolling. He honestly believes what happened to Mittens will be a negative for the goons, and that these events somehow herald a ‘new dawn’ for PvP lead by him and his goblins (RP’ing a bit much there…). He also fully believes that the goons have done more harm than good in EVE, and that the game would be better off without them. Finally, he believes CCP wishes the goons and players like them would go away.

You can’t make up this kind of comedy.

Last and least, we have those shining examples of humanity I quoted yesterday. I’m still having trouble understanding how such simple creatures have managed to access the internet, let alone roll their faces across a keyboard long enough to blurt out the gems that they have, but god bless all you little retards.

So why is all of this such a big deal? Here is a wiki link. Just kidding, but go read this first, it will give you a nice baseline. What we have witnessed this week is that envy flared up to 11. To the envious, it seemed to them that finally EVE was on its way down, and that the players who truly make it what it is, represented by The Mittani, would be thrown out.

The Mittani is ‘embarrassed’ by this. The goons will finally give up. ‘Evil’ players of EVE are going to be banned by CCP. CCP themselves will change the rules and finally, finally, allow the masses to enjoy EVE as the envious envision it.

And that only adds to the total comedy of all of this, because the exact opposite is going to happen.

The goons biggest enemy is inactivity. When they don’t have a cause, they grown bored and weak. While The Wis might have pulled off an epic troll job on Mittens, he, along with Massively and everyone else in the lynch mob, have provided the goons with the greatest source of motivation they have likely ever seen. The lynch mob has, quite literally, done a masterful job of fueling the goons on and making them more powerful than ever. Jita burning will be just the first trophy of this effort, and they will have Massively and the rest to thank for it.

But it’s not just the goons who will ultimately profit from this. All EVE players will. EVE is famous for high-profile stories that ‘shock’ the envious, and nothing has been more shocking than this whole suicide show. The foolish believe such stories drive away players, but they do the exact opposite. Those who this scares away would never have survived in New Eden anyway, and so they never counted in the first place. White Knights claiming ‘this’ is the event that drove them away are either fooling you, or fooling themselves. Those same White Knights said the exact same thing when GHSC made news, or when the downfall of BoB made news.

At the end of the day, EVE remains as the longest running MMO with a growing population. Longer than WoW, longer than EQ1, and longer than all the voiced dialog of SW:TOR. It has the strongest, most stable community in the genre, it’s technically superior to any game out, and CCP (which includes former goon members, ooh nooz) are the best in the world at what they do.

And the envious hate that. It defies all that they believe. It spits in the face of their “wolves and sheep” theory. It spits in the face of ‘accessibility’, welfare epics, and of ‘fair fights’. To them, it’s the story always ending with the bad guy winning, and it eats away at them and drives them insane.

And it’s going to continue. Despite the wishes of former bloggers, EVE is not going away this year. CCP has corrected their path thanks to The Mittani guiding them, and are now back to making the best game in the genre ever greater.

And somewhere, hopefully, that success will eventually drives a white knight or blogger to off themselves. We can only hope they do it publicly, to give us one more bit of content before they go.

Kidding.

Maybe.

:evil grin:

34 Responses to Swimming in tears

  1. thade says:

    You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.
    Your heart’s an empty hole.
    Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch.
    I wouldn’t touch you with a
    Thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

  2. bhagpuss says:

    If a blogger doesn’t like EVE, why post about it at all?

    Don’t like it? Don’t play it.
    Don’t play it? Don’t write about it.
    Don’t like the people who like it? Don’t read their blogs or start arguments with them.

    The only reason I read anything about EVE is because a few bloggers I was already reading because they post about other MMOs I am interested in also write about EVE and I like their writing for its own sake. Even then I tend to skim-read or skip their EVE posts.

    I never skip or skim-read an episode in the SynCaine/Tobold soap opera though.

  3. Cyndre says:

    “Despite the wishes of former bloggers…”

    I ROFL’d

  4. KSC says:

    There are very few (MMO) alternatives to EVE that include PvE sandbox gameplay (does SWG count?). People often point to a lack of alternatives as the reason UO flourished with its cutthroat atmosphere. Maybe players are just reasonably insulated from the PvP in EVE and CCP reached a perfect balance… or maybe if the right PvE sandbox came along, the ‘sheep’ would abandon EVE. Or maybe, as SynCaine says, it’s all just a bunch of crap.

  5. Professer says:

    Indeed, God bless all these little retards. Priceless entertainment.

    • Professer says:

      let the hilarity go on, on and on and on until there are no little retards left after their masses of suicide

      *popcorn*

  6. Gesh says:

    Gevlon, who had a ganking guild in WoW thinks that Eve would be better off without gankers? Oh, shi …

  7. sleepysam says:

    Was hoping for this all day. Love me some Friday, indeed.

    WTF is PnP? Is that another name for D&D, Iphone games, or what?

    • SynCaine says:

      “WTF is PnP”

      Kids…

      • Zyref says:

        LOL!
        Play Nice Policy – inspired by Everquest back in the day

        or

        Pen and Paper – like D&D, or Rifts, or gamma world, etc.

        Both of which Tobold blogs about ;-)
        Syn is talking about Pen and Paper here… but thinking about it in the context of “play nice policy” is also amusing!

      • sleepysam says:

        Bah, you made me work for it.

        pen n paper…

        Heh, I’m prolly older than the other commenters, aside from TAGN.

  8. Wow, that Gevlon post was just priceless.

    Meanwhile, Tobold has clearly come unhinged.

    • mbp says:

      I’m still trying to figure out how he hit on poor old Syncaine for the evil sticker. I mean you are just as outspoken a supporter of Mittens Wilhem and you are a known goon!

      • Being under the command of Mittens… he was on Mumble just last night talking to us on the fleet channel, and no doubt subliminally conditioning us… I am probably just a minion of evil.

        Was there a circle in Dante’s Hell for the sarcastic and cynical?

    • steelhunt says:

      But did you check the comments at Gevlon’s post? There more gold in them there comments! “Goons won’t wardec anyone. They kill rookie ships and Hulks, wouldn’t mess with anyone who can set up an able fleet.” :ohgod:

  9. hevy says:

    My CEO.

    Isn’t that what the cool kids do? The bad kids?

    In all serious business; great post. I feel the same.

  10. dsj says:

    From listening to the Mittani I can say that on April 28th you can expect all hell to break lose.

    Not only is the JITA burn project going to draw every goon that has a pulse to log in for the day but thousands of wanna-be gankers and gawkers are going to stream in. CCP is going to find out just how robust those time dilation mechanics are going to be.

    I’m going to be laying in my popcorn supply, arty thrashers, and setting the alts up for recording the 4-4 undock.

    • Anon says:

      “Not only is the JITA burn project going to draw every goon that has a pulse to log in for the day but thousands of wanna-be gankers and gawkers are going to stream in. CCP is going to find out just how robust those time dilation mechanics are going to be.”

      I’ll be there with a supply of the fastest locking cheap ships I can fly to join in the fun. EVE ftw!

    • Cyndre says:

      I wish I could Salvage, cloaked. Make bank outside Jita….

  11. Polynices says:

    So glad you came through. The moment I read that post of Tobold’s, I knew you’d have funny things to say. He’s a strange fellow.

    Keep up the good work.

  12. SynCaine says:

    Somehow, I’m the same species as this ‘person':

    “I discussed the signing ransoms with my company lawyer who is specializing in harassment and libel law and she was of opinion that CCP, Alex Gianturco and the goons who participated in ransom episodes could be liable to harassment claims. She would definitely encourage victims if they are US located to file a harassment lawsuit against CCP. It would enable them to subpoena the game logs to identify the individuals behind goon avatars to file civil damages lawsuit(s) against them.”

    • Dex says:

      …Da fuq? That just shows that Lawyers don’t understand EVE, either, heh…

      • Zyref says:

        You could make a harrassment claim against CCP.

        But you’d have to go to international court or CCP would ignore said claim.

        That being said, assuming you got players who were in the US (less than half of eve?), you could file harassment against the players.

        Then the player could respond back with “and if your client walked into an S&M club, and subjected themselves to the goings on at said club, could he then file charges against a person in this club?”

        Also, at most, the victim would have to show how much “pain and suffering” they experienced… a nebulous term that isn’t treated the same in every state. Pain and suffering is then limited by the fact that the player was low-sec or null space, and the very nature of EVE the player should have expected an attack and some kind of ransom.

        Furthermore, the player subjected themselves to singing at the expense of an in-game currency. I’d expect a person bringing forth such a claim would find themselves experiencing more pain and suffering in terms of embarrassment.

        On a side note, watch out playing LoL or Starcraft with this player~ they’ll sue you for killing their zerglings.

    • Gesh says:

      The said ‘victims’ are the same stupid fucks, who would sue – for example – a pizza company, because they swallowed the pizza with the pizza’s box and they weren’t warned that they shouldn’t do that.

  13. Dex says:

    Heh, one of my favorite Blog entries yet. “God bless all you little retards” ftw

  14. [...] Swimming in Tears Share this:TwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. [...]

  15. [...] spending some time this afternoon laughing at the internet because… well… go read this, as it seems to indicate we do not all live in the same planes of reality… I realized I had [...]

  16. jaggins says:

    It was all a setup for the evil ending! How diabolical.

    • kanacasul says:

      Reading Tobold’s blog makes me want to kill myself, will he stop blogging if I whine about it?

  17. When somebody is evil, you can do anything and feel justified.

    This post just in from Mrs. Mittens on the SA forums:

    “Okay which one of you idiots trolled the Madison PD into coming to our house? ”

    Apparently somebody called the local police and convinced them that Mittens was suicidal. Of course, with his silver tongue, Mittens turned the tide.

    “There is no wider investigation. They thought he was suicidal. Though apparently he might have talked them into playing EVE.”

  18. Lyss says:

    Hi. I am a Eve newbie. Started the Game a few days ago. I dont like the Setting, I’m not much a fan of the scifi stuff.
    First Time I saw EVE it looked boring, a friend of mine urged me to try it and I did, It was broing as hell, it was ugly and I stopped “playing” before I even got out of the tutorial.

    The only reason i’m back and playing now is the Mittani.

    I read about the Fanfest on massivly, and decided there that the Mittani is either a Douchebag, or a fucking idiot for giving out the ingame name of someone and tell his minions to harass him. Even if he was drunk and it could be seen as a joke. It was naive to think there would be no outbreak. Especially idiotic for someone who calls himself spymaster.

    Although i didnt play eve I found this blog via gevlons blog over there in the green corner. I read the post about the incident and the comments, and decided that Syncaine is a douchebag as well, or a Idiot for his views about suicidal and or depressed people.
    Now I knew there had to be some drama going on over there at the eve forums and I couldnt resist and started reading.

    And what I read was awesome. The playerbase which I always thought had to be hardened players given the nature of eve whined harder then the retarded roleplayers over in the kiddy section of the wowroleplaying servers. And for what? Because some guy made an ass out of himself in public, and the slight chance there was some other guy who would kill himself. Which would be tragic and unnecessary.

    So I started reading what was it that made this guy so special that theres a shitstorm over some idiotic comment except the fact that he leads a corp, a big corp with, well, bees in it (yes I knew nothing of eve or the goons, nothing much).

    It got even more awesome. I spend quite some time reading up on all thats happened and what players had to say, I learned what the csm Is, who the Mittani really is, and why all goons are douchebags. EVE drama really is awesome.

    At the end I decided, a game where this could happen, I had to play.

    All this opportunities, finally I could not only disagree with a player, no, I could wipe him, his smug face and all of his friends from the face of my game if he annoys me to much.

    On a sidenote i have to ask myself what was the point of gevlons year long “social studies” in wow where you could not study properly because the experiment is tainted with limitations by the worlds gods, where right around the corner theres eve where you could do so much more.

    In the end it was Mittani who got me in the game. He and the Goons are very entertaining in what they do, regardless of my own morals and ethics, and the drama is just delicious. And if someone finds the need to rage about them I wonder how this someone doesnt get depressed about real life, where things can be way harder.

  19. Rammstein says:

    Tobold would be kinda scary if he weren’t so incompetent.

    I actually thought Gevlon’s post was somewhat insightful on a larger scale–as long as you apply it to games that are not EVE. That’s kind of his deal, coming up with a brilliant piece of armchair psychology that perfectly describes the workings of some activity that is not the activity that he is attempting to describe.

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