Forget the rest of the noise, the real advice new bloggers need

Have dreams of running a kind-of-a-big-deal blog with awesome amounts of traffic and comments? Here’s how!

1: Blog about the hottest MMO currently out or in the peak of its hype cycle. WoW, SW:TOR (before it died), and most certainly GW2 right now are great examples. Niche MMOs = niche blogs, don’t waste your time.

2: Keep the blog entry short. Most readers don’t have time to read long entries, and long entries will also cause issue with some of the items below.

3: Keep the topic positive, and easy to understand. Offending people drives them away, and most don’t care/understand complex topics. There is a reason WoW dungeons can be finished in 15 minutes by facerolling; do the same for your blog if you want to make it big.

4: Use pictures. They are easy to understand and allow someone to ‘read’ an entry in just a few seconds. Think of pictures like welfare epics; if you want to keep people happy, you need to give them shinies. Don’t worry about whether the post needs a picture or not, even if it adds zero value, a popular meme gif will make people feel like they ‘get it’.

5: Make it easy to comment. Complex topics that require previous knowledge are hard to comment on, and will drive people away. Everyone can tell you their favorite race or starting zone, it will only take them a few seconds, and they will feel like they are contributing.

That’s it. Follow those five simple steps and you too will soon see massive traffic and have a thriving ‘community’ of fans.

(Granted, the above will get you a soulless generic blog with no real lasting value that only entertains the lowest common denominator, but TMZ is not winning humanitarian awards either, and they get tons of traffic/comments!

Plus niching blogging is hard, yo.)

29 Responses to Forget the rest of the noise, the real advice new bloggers need

  1. theerivs says:

    HOLY CRAP…you just described my blog. LOL!

  2. Heh, the flip side of the comment thing is that if you make me create a new account for your site just so I can comment on your blog, I will never comment on your blog. And you might be better off for it.

    So how hard should it be to leave a comment?

    • Hong WeiLoh says:

      Personally, I find that with comments, quality and quantity have an inverse relationship. Doubly, Triply, or even Quadruply so when said comments are posted anonymously. :-)

      I don’t allow anon comments on my blog for the simple fact that 1) you should own your words — if you can’t take responsibility for them, you’ve no business speaking/writing them, and 2) I tend to write inflammatory (and very immodest) posts which no doubt piss off a great many people who, were anon comments allowed, shoot off their “stfu u stupid asswhole i h8 u fuckin griefer ass,” put on a little :smug: and go thru their day feeling happy that “I sure told that Hong asshole!”
      Sometimes, I like denying people that lil ray of “sure told THAT gai!” sunshine in their otherwise banal, spiteful little lives. :-D
      Ok, most times.
      Alright, alright, ya got me — all the time. :-D

  3. Antivyris says:

    Well crap…math posts about mining or its intricacies are out the window.

    Alas, I will now never be a TMZ blogger, oh woe is m….no no, I can’t even type that without bursting with laughter to the point that typing is hard.

  4. I can’t quite tell if you’re seriously recommending it or being sarcastic about it…

  5. Larofeticus says:

    Take out all the stuff after bullet point five. Spoils it.

  6. [...] but never least, Syncaine describes my blog to a tee. That method’s been working for 3 years I guess, it’s like he actually knows [...]

  7. Noizy says:

    “Plus niching blogging is hard, yo.”

    Sure, now you tell me.

  8. OR you could:

    1) Luck into getting a post linked on a major site

    2) Bitch about everything and every other blogger to keep up your traffic levels

    ;)

    • SynCaine says:

      That’s much, much harder than the five easy steps.

    • Everblue says:

      How does it end though? Maybe like this:

      3) Repeatedly insult blogger that gave you the big break

      4) Lose link from major site

      5) Resort to more and more extreme posts in order to maintain falling traffic levels

      • SynCaine says:

        I repeatedly insult lots of people, have since the very beginning.
        I’m getting more linked traffic than ever before from ‘major’ sites.
        And my overall traffic is up significantly since returning to EVE.

        What’s 6, 7, and 8?

  9. Anjin says:

    [looks at calendar] Oh, so it is Friday.

  10. Vett says:

    I think you should add a step #6. Making fun of/arguing with Tobold always gets traffic.

    • Wyrm says:

      Not on his blog though. He delete every and any comment that makes him look bad. It’s funny that the 2 bloggers who always claim that they are so much better than everybody else (the goblin openly, “the” tobold more subtly) happen to have a paper thin skin to go with their huge egos.

  11. xXJayeDuBXx says:

    Or you can hate every MMO out there and trash it in the hopes it dies off just to be contradictory and get traffic that way too!

  12. SlothBear says:

    While I understand this was satire, this is actually the most honest advice for getting hits I’ve read so far. :)

  13. bonedead says:

    Or you could just be naturally awesome like myself.

  14. Stratagerm says:

    Epic sarcasm FTW! Really gave me a chuckle. The best part is how some people are unsure of your intent.

    Funniest and most pointed bit I’ve read in awhile.

  15. [...] Hardcore Casual: Forget the rest of the noise, the real advice new bloggers need [...]

  16. [...] Remember that post about how to make it big in blogging? [...]

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