Gevlon wins super-elite level PUBG game! Proof inside!

Every time I think Gevlon has reached the depths of his personal stupidity, he goes ahead and digs just a little deeper. It truly is an impressive talent.

As you may recall, the statistically worst player on the internet had 735 games played without stumbling into a single win, an almost impossible feat considering the amount of RNG in PUBG. Well not anymore everyone! Was he shamed into finally winning? Did the PUBG RMG gods finally take pity on him? Did he go afk so his personal play wouldn’t get in the way of winning?

Naw, you see Gevlon is super smart and a top-ranked player, so he only plays against other top-ranked players because thats definitely how the rating system works in PUBG. His games are really hard, and all us plebs are playing in lowbie ranked games that are super easy to win. I mean, Gevlon can’t possibly be wrong about that and then post clear evidence on his own blog proving it, can he?

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Here it is (at the bottom, the garbage about is another Grrr CCP nonsense rant). Congrats on 700+ failed efforts and then finally getting a single win. Huge accomplishment, uugh!

The money quote:

While winning a top 0.5% ranked game isn’t nothing (and nothing like winning a 1200 rated lolgame), luck had a part in it (guy shoots me to 10% HP when drops dead from a headshot from mr-soon-to-be-#2). – Ultra-leet goblin leader Gevlon

Of course he only had one kill, the final one. And who did he kill? A 1600 rated player who’s name you can see in his screenshot (with an aggregate skill rating of, of course, 1200, because clearly even the universe enjoys laughing at Gevlon at this point). A player who has also never won a single game, though in that players defense, he only has 100 games played total, so he might not be a complete goblin.

Why was a 1600 rating zero-wins player in Gevlon’s ‘leet’ top-tier game, and why did he make it to the final two players in a game that also contained Gevlon? Because as Gevlon has now perfectly shown, the rating system in PUBG doesn’t do anything, which is why only idiot goblins care about it. The game just grabs the first 100 players who queue up and puts them in a game. That’s why the queue is almost instant regardless of when and where (what region) you play, and why 12 people of VASTLY different ranks can all queue up in 3 squads and get into the same exact game 99% of the time, as we do often in INQ. It’s why stream sniping is possible in PUBG but doesn’t exist in LoL (Gevlon thinks stream snipers are just bots hired by the streamer to boost their stats, but that’s a joke for another day).

Anyway, grats on your ‘leet’ win Gevlon, I’m sure many, many more are going to follow, even with you playing at the top-tier of the ratings against fellow top-tier players. Can’t wait for your guide to teach us all how we too can be as ‘successful’ as a goblin. Personally I can only hope its as good as your LoL “just queue dodge, it’s fine, lots of people stay in Silver for 1000+ games” guide.

About SynCaine

Former hardcore raider turned casual gamer.
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13 Responses to Gevlon wins super-elite level PUBG game! Proof inside!

  1. Dinsdale Pirannha says:

    Geez. Give it a rest. What is your obsession with this guy? Did he spurn your advances?
    Is he whacky? Sure. We get it. His opinions on real life economics and society are frightening.

    But don’t you have other things to write about?

    And yes, I am waiting for the retort about my obsession with the RMT cartels.

    • SynCaine says:

      So you don’t see any value in pointing to evidence contradicting someone who is trying to claim a game is rigged, or showing evidence that their claim of a working ranking system is wrong?

      I know you don’t understand humor, so I won’t bring that up, and you already addressed your own personal hypocrisy, but you don’t see value in the above?

      • Dinsdale Pirannha says:

        I don’t see it as much as a retort against his rants, but more like you are constantly poking fun at the guy. By linking his posts within yours, you increase his reach.

        Surely there must be something of more value you can blog about, other than an increasingly obscure and unhinged blogger.

        • SynCaine says:

          Explain how showing that the last 2 people in an ‘.5%’ rating game both being zero win players, with one of them not even in the top 10% of the ratings, isn’t a retort to Gevlon claiming the rankings work and are what really matter in PUBG? Do you still believe Gevlon that the PUBG ratings do something?

        • Dinsdale Pirannha says:

          I don’t play PUGB, know nothing about its mechanics, and really don’t think I will ever play the game since I suck at FPS. So whether you are correct or not is not relevant. I am talking about you on some personal fixation with one guy and wasting effort going after him for his admittedly “odd” ideas.

          As I said before, surely you have other things worth going after. You want to talk about PUGB? Great. A very valid topic. But going after Gevlon personally, time after time, looks weird.

        • SynCaine says:

          I like how you rephrase lies to ‘odd ideas’.

    • Trego says:

      I like the irony of Dinsdale not realizing everything he said works better as an argument for just deleting Dinsdale’s own comments instead of wasting time responding to someone notorious for being a wacky, odd and unhinged EVE troll, than it does for his intended purpose.

    • Consider the irony of you lecturing somebody else about an obsession as noted.

    • Lanark says:

      Agreed. I used to read this site pretty often, but stopped because every other post was trolling or snide sniping at someone or other. He’s not a bad writer when making an argument or discussing something of substance, but the endless sneering and denigration just got so boring. Nowadays I check in once every few months to see if he’s gotten it out of his system, and…nope.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh dear god. The final paragraph…. “Top 100 is clearly within reach, when I get it, comes a long and detailed guide how to be among the best of PUBG players.” At this point there is surely an outside chance that the planet he lives on actually involves winning through increasingly elaborate ways of trolling people, right?

    • SynCaine says:

      I could speculate, but honestly whatever insanity I could come up with won’t hold a candle to what he will eventually produce.

      Two things are 100% certain however. 1: The guide will be garbage-tier similar to his LoL guides in terms of actually helping anyone. 2: It will be hilariously inaccurate and likely contradict itself multiple times.

      I can’t wait.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you Mr. Humorous ^^ I always enjoy reading these posts. I never read the Goblin though (just excerpts from what’s linked here) — does he ever retort?

    • SynCaine says:

      Passive-aggressively he does, yea. His whole “I’m leet and play against the .5%, wins at 1200 don’t matter” is a response to my taunts of winning PUBG games with far far fewer played than he has, but since he is a thin-skinned closet social, he can’t bring himself to directly link a reply post. Adds to the humor for me, but kinda robs his readers of additional content (granted at his expense, but ‘content at his expense’ is 95% of his total readership anyway, so it really wouldn’t matter).

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