The real Cataclysm

Everyone and their uncreative grandmother blogging and gushing over the excitement of $8 levels, partial zone revamps (oh wait, those are free and not technically part of that $40, oops), and two character reskins.

Please, please tell me how you beat that Simon Says boss (after watching youtube) with your PUG guild, please. Oh and what’s that, you got ‘epics’ for trying (and possibly for failing)? Awesome, share that too, in large poorly formatted screen shots! Naw it’s not those ‘just decent back in the day’ 2004 graphics showing, it’s just the SS format, it’s cool (be sure to show off those new, 2007-era water effects!). Plus I’m sure since it says ‘epic’ on the item you must be the only special snowflake with such an awesomely huge pink power ranger shoulder pad! To the mailbox!

Dark days, dark days indeed.

(Though on the plus side, we only have to deal with this once every 2-3 years, and the new stuff will only last for about a month, so it will all be over before we know it)

About SynCaine

Former hardcore raider turned casual gamer.
This entry was posted in Mass Media, Patch Notes, Rant, World of Warcraft. Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to The real Cataclysm

  1. Ferdinand says:

    Hahaha, oh man. I was reading a thread on MMO-Champion about how World of Warcraft had the best graphics of any massively multiplayer game, AND somehow in that same thread people marveled at how they could play 40vs40 PvP battles “practically lag-free” thanks to WoW’s graphics engine. I couldn’t make this up.

    I had to shock my nipples repeatedly to keep myself from posting a rant.

    • SynCaine says:

      Well there is only so much a toaster can do, and not all of them are equipped to handle 2007-era water effects. THESE ARE SERIOUS ISSUES.

      WoW players are cute though, eh?

    • Ferdinand says:

      By and large, WoW players are idiots. Every PvP strategy I’ve ever employed has been centered around herding morons through very wide checkpoints. Having dealt with them first-hand for years, I should stop being surprised by stuff like this, but WoW players sink to new depths every time Blizzard makes the game even easier.

      And whatever you do, don’t get into an argument with a WoW fanboy over something objective like “Ironforge crashes when the Horde raid it with more than 50 people,” because they will just say either “no one cares about world PvP anyway” or “WoW has 12 million subscribers.” World PvP is the only thing I play the game for, and I keep getting smacked around by changes that discourage it and make the world safer.

      Still, Azeroth is a giant playground for people like me, and ensuring that sides are even in Tol Barad rectified one of my main complaints about the game. I’ll probably pick up Cataclysm unless Blizzard does something REALLY dumb like add flying guards to capital cities that dismount/knock back enemy players.

  2. Sean Boocock says:

    Obvious trolls are obvious :)

    I don’t think the enthusiasm is misplaced. This is the best content Blizzard has produced yet for WoW. If it’s all content candy, well, at least it plays pretty sweet :)

    • Anonymous says:

      I think the point is that technically the majority of the new content is free, and not what that $40 is paying for.

      So the $40 expansion is really only a small part of the new content, making it obviously overpriced.

      The $40 is basically just for the 5 levels and new raids. Not that every WoW player won’t spend it in a heartbeat.

  3. Ben says:

    someone sounds a little jealous.

  4. BiggDawg says:

    u mad bro?

  5. Letrange says:

    Now, now, Syncaine, just think of the advantages. Less wow-tards to deal with in your game of choice. (Although as an EVE player on break someone vaunting 40vs40 being almost lag free makes me cringe)

  6. Dril says:

    Damn, I appear to have stumbled upon the forums. You’re being promoted to super elite awesome member for posting a populist opinion!

  7. tariqone says:

    You really should post these same amazing observations over and over and over.

    You really should post these same amazing observations over and over and over.

  8. Carson says:

    If Blizzard put as little effort into Cataclysm as I think you put into this rant, I’d agree with you.

    • SynCaine says:

      If I took as long to produce content as Blizzard, you would not be happy with me. Plus I don’t charge $40 for mini updates, and certainly not $25 for blog reskins.

      • Dril says:

        Ah but you don’t donate some of your Lil’ Sync plushie proceeds to charities that make peoples dreams come to true (I’d make a point about how sad it is that someone at Blizzard think that that’s more important than helping to save peoples’ lives, but that’s another topic), making you a heartless and cruel bastard.

        Also, you stomp kittens:

  9. John Lawman says:

    Let’s see how Cataclysm affects Darkfall population…

  10. Anonymous says:

    lofl @ trolling WoW’s graphics. Darkfall has super dated graphics (read: worse than WoW’s) and on top of that horrible horrible horrible SFX, seriously sounds like a 32 bit SNES game.

    oh yeah, gso.

    • Ferdinand says:

      The difference, Anonymous, is that Darkfall’s players don’t write about how awesome its graphics are. I may think that Minecraft is a better game than Call of Duty: Black Ops, but I’m not going to go all fanboy and insist that it looks better.

      I can see it now: “Minecraft’s unique art style possesses a certain charm and atmosphere that these so-called ‘modern’ graphics engines can’t achieve, for all their ‘shaders’ and character models that have more than ten polygons. Plus I can play 40v40 PvP battles in Minecraft with practically no lag.”

      • Anonymous says:

        And the difference, Ferdinand, is Darkfall has about 500-1000 actives. And has only one that I know of who has a blog. Where as WoW has 5,000x more actives and more blogs about it than anyone can count. So you are bound to get more than few people writing about how delighted they are with WoW’s new graphics.

        And hey, at least WoW can support a 40v40 battle. AV’s turd “Darkfall” can’t even field that many people, let alone a server that can handle it.

        • Chris says:

          Okay, no offense, but this post is seriously uninformed. I don’t currently play DF but even I know there are a LOT bigger battles than 40v40 going on. And 500-1000 actives? Really? Where did you get that from, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?

  11. Actiblizzion says:

    If you think for a second that the 2 year expansion release will continue, you are sadly mistaken. Activision lost a ton of money this quarter (based on projections). The stock of Blizzard is in question as to where the money is going (see above).

    This says a lot for a company that has an income that would fund a small country. Yet it still has a narrowing profit margin. Does Activision really need those $100.00 bills to wipe with?

  12. Dblade says:

    I think before you rag on WoW, you need to find a MMO that you believe is right. It’s been looking like even DF you are burned out on: you have all of one post about it on this page, and its a surprisingly honest post about how the game is struggling to deal with grind.

    It’s been looking like you have been trying non-mmo games and not finding much to like about them. If WoW and Cata is bad, you really need to show why it keeps players and other games that illustrate your philosophy don’t.

    • SynCaine says:

      Just because I’m less active in something does not mean I don’t believe in the design overall. I often mention EVE, yet it’s been more than a few months since I’ve last played.

      Combine that with there simply being a few very entertaining games out right now (BB, LoL, TQ), and my time is balanced across those.

      Neither of those things change the fact that, for me, WoW is a 12m sub trash heap with some of the genres most uneducated and annoying fans.

      • Drew says:

        In fairness, can’t you attribute that to the sheer number of players? I mean, let’s be honest, there are idiot players in every MMO. WoW just happens to have exponentially more players than other games.

        • Chris says:

          Probably, but hating on WoW is Syncaine’s schtick. Trying to talk reason against it is like trying to squeeze a rock to death. Accept it for what it is and it’s much more entertaining :-)

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