EVE: Goons are dead, but we have a savior!

The EVE-based entertainment continues!

First, a reminder that not only are Goons ‘dead’ and we don’t undock because of that horrid hellcamp of Saranen, but we are also very bad at EVE.

We are so bad in fact that we need help, and the only one who can truly save the most successful organization not just in EVE, but likely in all of MMO history, is the certified autistic lunatic, Gevlon. I’m sure as I write this Mittens is working to create a high level spot within the organization for him, and I can’t wait to have Gevlon ‘above me’ in the alliance. (Because yes, that’s EXACTLY how leadership works in the alliance, leaders are clearly ‘above’ the line members and remind them of that fact daily…)

Now you might be asking “SynCaine, didn’t Gevlon try to start Corps multiple times and fail horribly each time?” Yes, that did happen, but its hard to run a Corp (sorta, I mean I did it successfully, but shhh), even when you are literally offering to pay people ISK to play with you. You might also ask “SynCaine, didn’t Gevlon devote two years of his life, using a ton of accounts, and playing crazy amounts every day to destroy Goons?” He did! But like all things Gevlon, he utterly failed at that, because you can’t sit at the ISK big boys table with the bit of pocket change Gevlon accumulated over four years of hardcore playing focused only on making ISK (Gevlon spent 700b total on his little project, Lenny spend 1t+ weekly, just to give you an idea of how insignificant Gevlon really is when it came to ISK accumulation).

Ok, so maybe Gevlon isn’t exactly qualified to ‘save’ Goons, in some part because Goons are just fine, but also because out of everyone in EVE, I think he might literally be the least qualified. But that doesn’t mean Gevlon is useless to us. Oh far from it. TMC needs traffic, so you might as well farm Gevlon for some via a free post right? Especially one as unintentionally hilarious as the one he wrote. That’s a special talent that should be coddled and abused used whenever possible to entertain the masses.

As we Goons say, never stop posting Gevlon, never stop posting!

About SynCaine

Former hardcore raider turned casual gamer.
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